i just figured out the perfect murder
kill someone and bury them in their own garden
that way if the police find them they’ll think it was a suicide
#welp looks like the victim committed suicide and promptly buried themselves in their garden #how considerate of them
americans hate americans just as much as everyone else hates americans don’t let our jokes fool you
bitch we hate americans more than everyone else hates americans
cuz you know who has to deal with americans the most?
Remember when every girl wanted this phone
yoo if you had this phone in 2005 you were the coolest bitch on the block
I didn’t know this was a thing. my dad had this phone.
then your dad was the coolest bitch on the block no exceptions
but i work with this super adorable guy and in my mind im always like “psh, i have great flirting skills.” then he talks to me and im like ahsdfhfh NOPE go away”